The Real Goal of Male Transgenders or Trans “Women”

Here’s the thing. The real goal of male transgenders, or trans “women,” if you will is not to be or become women, it is not to be safe from other men, it is not to join women in the fight against the patriarchy. It is simply: to control women.

I was approached on Twitter the other day (accosted really, since he bombarded my feed with tweets even after it was clear I had him blocked) by a male transgender who, after reading my post about the term “TERF” being a slur, had nothing to say about the term “TERF” nor had he any remorse for using a word that a woman (actually, women, plural) was telling him was a slur. He also stated quite emphatically that men were not the problem; because in my post, I mentioned how women feeling safe was a main issue of wanting to have our own spaces and when I mentioned how some male transgenders argue for the same safe spaces, I said that they should create their own spaces because men were their problem as much as ours and we should not bear the brunt of their needs for safe spaces by losing our own.

No, this man was not concerned about using a slur or especially about no longer using it (a perusal of his Twitter after blocking him showed me that he continued to use it as a slur), nor was he concerned about safety from men. His main and, well, only concern was that women see him as a woman. That’s the crux of the issue, isn’t it? Male transgenders don’t want to change the violent ways of men, especially since so many male transgenders are, themselves, violent men. They don’t want protection from said violent men and they of course would never advocate for women to be safe from violent men. No what they want, what they have always wanted is to control women, to make us call them by the names and pronouns that they choose while they force us to be called the names that we do not choose (read: they are hypocrites). These men want to force lesbians to have sex with them by shaming us into accepting the penis as a female body part and that we are bigots if we do not fuck them. These men want to force us to give up our personal and private spaces so that they can have them instead; not for their own safety, but simply because they want them. These men want to force women to see them as women even though our own common sense, science, and biology, hell our own eyes tell us differently. The goal of these men has not been to be safe from violence and share spaces under that common need, it is and always has been to control women. Period.

Here’s the thing, dear reader: if these male transgenders really believed they were women, they would not need confirmation from women. They would not need confirmation from anyone because they would know they are women. Does it piss me off when people see me as a man and don’t see the woman that I am? Of course! It makes me feel invisible as a woman. But I am still a woman, regardless of what others see. Their inability to see that at first glance does not negate the fact that I am a woman. I do not need other people to confirm that fact for me.

Another thing: I am a woman who is very woman-centric; and no, I do not believe that is because I am a lesbian, as I think any woman can be woman centric, regardless of her sexual and/or intimate partners. By woman-centric, I mean I put women first. I advocate for female causes, I donate to women’s shelters, I fight for women’s rights to have women-only spaces, etc. I even buy books by women authors, try to shop at women owned businesses when I can, and even hired a woman when I need to get things done on my property. You don’t see this with male transgenders. They are all still male centric. Even their name for us, “TERF,” is male centric because is supposes that we are centering our wanting to be around other females as an anti-trans thing. The very term is flawed not just because it is a slur used to silence women and not just because not all of us are radical feminists. No, this term is flawed for the very simple reason that it centers us around transgenders when we are not. We are women-centered.

But we all know that male transgenders were born male, socialized as male, and have male privilege, whether external (recognized as male by society), internal (the feelings of privilege they hold), or both. When I say they are male-centric, I mean that they center everything on being male. They come at women instead of to women, they try to dominate women, conversations, and situations, they don’t respect women, female causes or issues, and they could care less about women’s rights.

We even see this kind of behavior and worse from some of the men who have had surgeries to create some sort of facsimile of a woman out of their bodies. They still need outside confirmation. They still act like the men they were socialized to be from birth. They still treat women the same. Look at Janet Mock. Here is a man who is held up as the ideal trans “woman,” who other male transgenders consider the end of the rainbow, where they want to be themselves, who, we all assume, had the surgeries to make him into a Frankenstein-esque version of a woman; but he is still a sexist, misogynistic asshole who clearly has no respect for and, in fact, hates women. That is the man he was socialized to become and a few hormones and surgeries didn’t take those misogynistic feelings away, nor did they change how badly he treats women.

So here’s what I don’t understand, dear reader. Why do women keep falling for this? I mean, intellectually I can understand that women are socialized, conditioned to believe that men are more important, their opinions, wants, needs, etc. matter more than our own. But I still have a hard time grasping how so many women can be so blind to what these men are really doing. In my opinion, it isn’t that they can’t see it, but that they won’t see it. They refuse to see it because they are so conditioned and socialized to clear the way for men that they refuse to see what these men are really doing: trying to control women from the inside.

We saw the same kinds of things in the LGB movement for years and years: lesbians standing up with gay men for male causes, but when it came time to step up for women’s causes, there were no gay men to be seen. Even though we were lesbians and therefore had no need for men in our lives, we were still women and therefore socialized to put men and men’s needs first and foremost.

I do have hope though. I mean, more lesbians have opened their eyes over the years to see that the gay rights movement has actually been the gay male rights movement, so I have hope that more and more women will open their eyes and see that these men are not and cannot become women. These are men still trying to control, dominate, harass, and violate women. They are just doing it under the disguise of “being” women.

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46 comments on “The Real Goal of Male Transgenders or Trans “Women”

  1. pantypopo says:

    “I still have a hard time grasping how so many women can be so blind to what these men are really doing”… Fear. That’s what I perceive, fear.

    It is such a horrifying thing to understand, and accept, the knowledge that a man hates who you are and what you represent, so much, that he purposefully, and specifically, subsumes you. He becomes you, in order to not just replace you, but to erase you, to eliminate your existence.

    The women I met who stayed in their relationship, with a man who subsequently decided he wanted to be a woman, were shell-shocked. There really isn’t a better term for it. They were so traumatized they couldn’t yet feel their trauma. And every one of them were on anti-depressants, anti- anxiety meds and tranquilizers. At trans* social events, they would be popping pills 3 & 4 at a time. They were completely lifeless. They refused to speak with me about how they handled being in such a relationship. Most were over-compensating their femininity. A few young ones, unmarried, childless, proclaimed it was cool – and they were blind drunk, chewing lips, biting nails and falling down, drooling, by the end of the night.

    Terror, masked terror, that was the overall feeling I observed. Certainly that was the feeling I experienced. It got better once I faced it, named the problem, and took steps to address it.

    Like you, I believe most women understand, possibly at a subconscious level, what these men are doing, and why. I believe they are terrified to accept it. They are afraid of genuinely knowing how much they are hated and recognizing the extent to which men intend to eradicate them. Us.

  2. BigBooButch says:

    You make some good points. Thank you.

  3. naefeartie says:

    Yes. These men do hate us. I have heard many of them say that they love women so much that they want to be one. But I have seen the look in their eyes as they watch women. I have heard their comments on women’s appearance, particularly those who don’t pleasure their male gaze. Comments like, ” What a waste of tits”, or, “I make a better woman than *that*”.
    And the heterosexual men who call themselves lesbians and who demand to be included in lesbian spaces, and even to be have access to women’s bodies as “lesbians” and become violent when told “NO” – they are just like any other abusive, rapey male.
    Yes, I have seen that look in their eyes. That look that says “I hate you for being what I fantasize about. Your presence pains me, so I shall replace you. Eradicate you. Wipe you from existence. And if you won’t comply willingly, I can find others who will. For I am entitled to whatever I say I am entitled to”.

  4. redhester says:

    this is my experience. awakening to the full extent of male hatred would have destroyed my mind, if it weren’t for my meditation practice (yay buddhism!) and the support of my radfem (awakened) sisters. thank you.

  5. druidwinter says:

    The goal of these men has not been to be safe from violence and share spaces under that common need, it is and always has been to control women. Period.

    Yes. 100% agree. Great post!

    They target lesbians because they think of them as still un- owned by men. They think they can own you, have more authority over the couple- like a straight couple, if they can nail you at least once with straight sex- because they always have that card to fall back on in court if anything violent or criminal happens. They hope to become alphas who tell lesbians what to do and hold power collectively over groups of lesbians. We certainly dont have a male hierarchy that has a use for self-centered alphas, but some of the misconceptions about women’s spaces have the same misconceptions and many sound like the fantasies that crossdressers used to pay to listen to, as phone porn 20 years ago.

    Their somewhat unorganized strategy to maintain power [often for narcissistic ‘whim’ reasons]is by getting groups of females to fight over their mindless banter. We as women need to stop letting men use this tired-ass trick to control women. I actually watched a married, rich, part time crossdressing white guy do this to a WOC who assumes he is ‘trans’. More than once. What a beacon of womanly respect.

    The libdems are so eager to please males with their male-pleasing-for-crumbs-of-equal-rights type of feminism, they didn’t want to see it coming and are often blind to this male tactic. Yet all these guys had to do was buy a website re direct on a search engine to destroy the co operative conversations between CB and GM. Women have to look out for male- bullshit tricks like this, and work around here say or non-direct ‘gossip’ they are using this to get women not to talk to each other, so we are easier to control. Dont fall for it.

    Still Feel bad about speaking up? They have no love for any critical women’s issues, even life or death issues that directly affect us as women, because they are not really women or feminist in any way- they want to control everything, and force everyone to follow their whims or be subject to violent attacks, That’s already a ‘cult’ women and children have a right to be apart from for their own safety..

  6. FeistyAmazon says:

    I fully agree with you Butch Sister! But I would still posit BECAUSE you’re a Dyke you so fiercely put womyn first and foremost in your world as I do. Straight and bi womyn will always have some divided loyalties especially living with men…energies divided. DYKES and even more so Butch Dykes have ALWAYS been on the vanguard..because we are recognized the least..but our love for everything Female and for me at least Sacred Female fuels our Amazonian fire and our leadership in this. Our clear eyed vision that sees straight through the male scams.

    What saddens ne is some Butch sisters have lost their way to the siren song of that make misogyny and misguided e and have chosen or pressured into identifying as male and taking hormones and/or chopping off breasts through surgeries..it binding them. Many MTFS have been behind some of this. To convince a butch type she “must be a dude” bolsters up his femininity and his lust to be seen and to consume the female.

    Keep on keeping on Butch Sister and do not doubt that your Dyke ness is definitely at the core of your love for the Female and our total and complete Liberation without compromise!!

  7. BigBooButch says:

    I see your point, I just didn’t want to leave out our straight sisters. 😉

    Yes, our butch sisters “crossing over” really saddens me as well, I hear you.

  8. BigBooButch says:

    ” They have no love for any critical women’s issues, even life or death issues that directly affect us as women, because they are not really women or feminist in any way- they want to control everything, and force everyone to follow their whims or be subject to violent attacks, That’s already a ‘cult’ women and children have a right to be apart from for their own safety..”

    I agree with that 100%. I also agree with what you said, re: men working hard to control lesbians. The cotton ceiling makes me ill.

  9. omg, you’re SAYING it…. like the so called “Man” who was pregnant and expecting a baby – splashed all over the tabloids in garish amazement…with the whole world denying her WOMANNESS by omission. In Oprah’s interview with the pregnant “man” Oprah never once acknowledged the Woman/”man’s” woman-self. As in the book, “1984”, the prisoner is shown five fingers and asked how many fingers – the correct answer being – there are two fingers. They show you a man in a dress and say what is this – the correct answer being – that is a woman. Just looked up who Janet Mock is… I learned in the gay community in nyc, in the 80’s…this type of razor-edged-“perfect” trans-woman is VERY dangerous for lesbians/WBW and often are surrounded by their clique or group (at least this was my experience). A group discussion I participated in several decades ago quickly turned into a verbal abuse session as approx 10-15 trans/gay men screamed at me, defending their womanness and how I was an abuser to be asking such questions, which concluded by my quickly exiting the hall. There’s a lot I didn’t know back then, but that drama/abuse was not called for. You’re hitting the nail squarely on the head, Big Boo, in your analysis of MtF trans and their hatred of Lesbians and Womyn-Born-Womyn. I think some FtM trans are suspect as well, since after all, they believe they have never been women, but have been “men” all their lives. Sorry, I don’t have solutions, except to head for the mountains and protect our “Wanderground”. The Goddess protect us all and I’ll see you on the path.

    peace – Ashe

  10. BigBooButch says:

    Yep, they try really really hard to make themselves looks like the oppressed while trying to make women look like the oppressors. It is so mind-blowingly crazy, I sometimes don’t even know how to argue against it.

  11. Miep says:

    Pantypopo: I knew a woman here who was married to one of the nastiest narcissistic jackasses I’ve ever met. She held down a full-time job and took care of the house and property, he sponged off her and devoted himself to cruising around town bothering people, hitting on other women, and telling everyone who would listen what a drag and a “tub of lard” his wife was. She finally freed herself of him by selling out the property to him after he inherited some money. She took up with another man, seemed to be pulling out of her ongoing clinical depression, and left town. Last I heard the new dude was going transgender.

    Cautionary tale? You betcha. Waste of a good woman.

  12. Miep says:

    Well, the problem seems pretty obvious to me – some members of the lesbian community wish to have as little to do with men as possible, and if a woman is intimately involved with a man, this is going to create social conflicts. And how many straight women have fully divested themselves from the inclination to put men first? Add to this the fact that a non-lesbian woman can never really understand lesbian experience. It would be disingenuous to insist this doesn’t all have a lot of potential for conflict and resentment. I do think straight women have an obligation to try to see this and try to understand that not wanting to have anything to do with men is not simply a reaction to one’s own lesbian sexual orientation, but a protective reaction to how threatened many men feel by it.

  13. FabFro says:

    This is spot on! Thank you for posting this. I was just thinking about this a couple of days ago because I see another disturbing trend starting up with trans ‘women’ in getting us as women to accept them.

    Now he’s trying to be our ally. This time he ‘stands up for us’. But it’s funny because he still can’t help but bring up how he’s had surgery and how he’s ‘passing’ while trying to defend us against the misogynist.
    I think this is false ally because I feel like all he’s doing is playing ‘nice’: Nice until he is allowed into the group. Nice so we can start calling him a woman, least we offend him as our new friend and ally. Nice until we allow for him to take over and start making demands (Because he will do that).

    Even though he will claim that he knows he’s not a woman, he’ll turn around and say he felt like one while part of him was in his dad and part of him was in his mom.
    But one has to question: If he’s soooo aware that he’s not a woman, then why all the surgery? Why get boobs? Why get that neovag? Why pop dem pills? Why go through all this pain and money and suffering to be something you know you’ll never be? Something is not adding up!

    That’s because it’s just another false friend tactic to get accepted into feminism as the “ally” who’s passing as a woman, but realizes he’s not a woman…so he can control us.

    Please do look out for this dood. Please don’t let this become a trend of us accepting this dood into our group because he told some other trans not to be rude, while speaking of how sexxxay he now is as a non-woman. If he’s still upholding the very thing we’re fighting against, then he isn’t our ally. Simple as that.

  14. BigBooButch says:

    Yes, I have noticed quite a few of them try to play all nice with women who agree with them, but once a woman disagrees with them, the gloves come off, the male privilege rears its ugly head, and out pops the violent threats.

  15. druidwinter says:

    I am afraid FistyAmazon is right: the brunt of women’s liberation will have to be carried by Lesbians.

    Often, straight & bi women get into dependant relationships with demanding men that sabotage what they do and don’t let them participate in women’s events. One in 3 chance you hook up with an abusive man if you go that way..

    The best way to handle this- is to tell them to leave the man at home, and set this time as female empowerment. Women are sometimes not in a position where they have the ‘permission’ to do that, not if the guy is controlling. Yes. Women still have this pain to consider in str8 relationships.

    Having guys in dresses in these women’s spaces kills the therapeutic peace of not being in ‘serve, and step aside mode’ that causes depression in many str8 married women that seek out female spaces. They need women’s space as much as other women to remember that they are still humans that exist.- but are not in the position to pursue it. The relationship has them as an emotional hostage. Some have to wait until they are much older and left alone by males to get to that point. Female grooming is very destructive to a female human..They are made to feel they are responsible to fill a serve and step aside role to males their whole lives.

    I have seen this male behaviour crossing racial divides and 1/3 of women that are in abusive relationships and only have the woman-grooming education that they are not worth their own lives and must serve a man.. Perhaps someday they will be allowed to meet with other women, not be shamed for wanting a life, goals and have their own lives in ‘free’ countries.

    Whole generations of inventors, writers, Artists, doctors, etc.. are lost on men that want a ‘servant’ and parents that think that is what you raise girls for…

    Even guys that are non-violent are controlling and often throw tantrums when their wives want to take attention away and pursue an outside interest, even though they would benefit directly. It would make returning home from a women’s event empowered and facing an angry shit storm depending on how controlling the guy is back home breaking her back down..

    Hetro relationships are often this way. Feminism should be taught in schools. Young females need to be encouraged to be successful and not just be a cheerleader for male accomplishment.

    Like I would go drinking with a guy in the woman’s space. It is a rape waiting to happen.

  16. tnt666 says:

    Political correctness rules our progressive society, and the Ts have succeeded in meshing their agenda with the GLB agenda, most people don’t think that deep about feminism… and so they buy the Kool-aid… because it’s the PC “acceptance” that wins. It’s unfortunate that progressive thought has become so religious in our N.American society…

  17. thank you! i’m a totally woman-centric woman but have accepted i’m pretty much straight. i was confused for years because i never wanted to marry a man or live with one and if i looked forward and imagined an ideal ‘set up’ for living it was me and another woman and our children – which is just about to happen as a friend is moving in with us soon. i assumed all these things (not surprising given how heteronormatively prescriptive our upbringings are) must mean i was gay, yet i enjoyed hetero sex. i’ve had sex with women and had a good time so hmm, maybe i’m bi was the next thing and on it went for many years. i’ve finally accepted that no i’m actually pretty much sexually straight but totally woman centric and and my desire for how i want to live, raise my child, organise politically, spend my money, etc etc etc revolves around who i am as a woman centric person not who i am as in who i enjoy shagging. you can totally reject heteronormative culture and be woman centred as a straight person IF you haven’t bought the ‘man, woman, 2.4 children, boxed in a house together’ template of life.

    i appreciate this is rare – amongst both straight and gay people most want to emulate this domestic/financial/childrearing template which revolves around an (initially at least 😉 ) romantic relationship. I DON’T. i never have! i support gay marriage because people want it but politically and from my feminist self a part of me thinks it is a shame as it propagates that ideal template stuff again.

    anyway i wanted to say thank you for acknolwedging that straight women can be totally woman centric. i haven’t had sex for what, maybe 8 months or so now. i may see a fanciable man who doesn’t bore the fuck out of me sometime (and man that is rare which also convinced me i was gay lol) and have a sexual fling with him and develop a friendship (IF he is capable of it – which to be honest they’re mostly not so these things tend to be short lived and disappointing in the end) but i won’t want him to move in my home or be involved in the raising of my child or to join financial forces with him and it certainly won’t change my political views or my core values. it’s sex and intimacy and all the gooey good while it lasts stuff and it’s great but i wouldn’t build a life on it – castles made of sand springs to mind.

    my life is built on me and child and strong intelligent courageous women who i can respect and love and rely on the love of. we are soon to become a household of 5 – me, my friend, my son and her two children. we’re joining forces. there are no husbands/boyfriends/fathers etc in the frame. it is woman and child centric. it’s not sexuality based as to whether you’re woman centric – it’s heart, life and decision based. you can be straight and still choose not to live with men, not to aspire to heteronormative set ups etc etc.

  18. bit that is maybe missing is this – LOVE doesn’t have to be sexual love. i don’t choose to put my sexual love at the centre of my life. friendship and sisterhood love is the centre for me. if you are a lesbian then those things come together potentially – as a straight woman it means pushing your sexual identity out of centre and not building your life around it and accepting that and abandoning the notion of the traditional home/economic teaming etc. SURE THAT’S RARE and not easy – but some of us do do it! so please don’t say we can’t or we’re not genuinely loyal etc – in some ways it’s a bigger leap for me than a lesbian to be woman centric. it’s meant raising my child alone, being financially alone, etc etc etc because i rejected having a man in my home or at the centre of my life and couldn’t ‘replace’ that with a female partner easily. though thankfully as i say that is happening now and i’m really happy that i’m going to be living with my friend and we’re gonna share the whole financial, parental, etc etc etc load that living gives.

  19. Thanks for that. I’ve heard it opined that straight women can’t be woman centric and ergo not “proper” feminists.
    Which has always irked as that supposes one’s sexuality is inextricably linked to one’s politics.
    Which would make “political lesbianism” both impossible AND contradictory.
    Now, I’m not criticising political lesbians, of whatever hue, or anyone who’s sexuality is political(as everyone’s is, anyway) as that would be the antithesis of feminism.
    And yes, trans women ARE colonising us to eliminate us , and anyone who isn’t , frankly , TERRIFIED of this is , well, I dunno what they are, on so many levels.
    Well written. Thankyou.

  20. BigBooButch says:

    Sure thing. I believe any woman can be woman-centric 🙂

  21. BigBooButch says:

    I used to consider myself PC, but it has gone to such an extreme that it is laughable and I can’t believe so many people subscribe to that way of thinking.

  22. BigBooButch says:

    “They need women’s space as much as other women to remember that they are still humans that exist.”

    I would posit that they (straight and bi women) need women-only spaces even more since so much of their time is spent with men, catering to men, dealing with men, etc. Thanks for your thoughts.

  23. BigBooButch says:

    Thanks for stopping by and giving us all your thoughts. 🙂

  24. In my entire 40 years as a card-carrying – womyn-born-womyn – dyed in the wool lesbian, I have never thought about, let alone spoken or written about men as much as I have since Trans folks have assaulted the lesbian community in these days lately. Most of us dykes focus on womyn and have no desire to think about, or deal with men/men who think they are women, on any level, in any way shape or form. What a drag that they are finding a way into our culture to dilute our energies. They seem to have created and sold us the illusion that we “must deal with them” somehow. And we wbw-lesbians are falling for their illusion.
    – Ashe

  25. FabFro says:

    Much agreed.

  26. tnt666 says:

    Indeed, what most people call “heteronormative” is in fact “monogamy-normative”. Marriage is an institution that is bound for failure as all freedom/divorce statistics in the Western world demonstrate. In countries where marriage is inescapable, people are enslaved to their marriage whether they want it or not.
    Real human relationships should not be subject to contracts. In the modern world, we don’t need procreation as it is presently happening, so the only reason for marriage is this weird delusion of “eternal love”… which is a religious concept not a biological one for Homo sapiens. Adults should be able to be sexually active with whichever adult they want… but let is get governments out of the business of marriage. If faith-deluded-religionists want to marry, let them… but let’s delete all the financial perks and incentives that our governments give to “couples” which is simply discrimination against single people.
    Biology before delusions of culture…

  27. Exactly. I flatly told them on my FB wall a few weeks ago that no matter how many hormone shots they got, how much makeup they put on, or how many breast surgeries they had, they would never be a woman and they would never get that validation from women because they can never be one of us. No matter how they live their lives, when they are dead their genes and chromosomes are unchanged and they will go down in history as a dead male.

    Women like you who understand what is going on dismiss these chaps as useless and silly. They don’t want to be men, yet they aren’t women, so what good are they to either gender? The rage my truthful statements inspired from the trans folks was mind boggling. They came in trying to control what I said, how I said it, and to convince me and a group of women (largely black) that they WERE real women and “more woman than you’ll ever be!” SMH.

  28. FeistyAmazon says:

    Reblogged this on FeistyAmazon and commented:
    Excellent article..very much to the point.

  29. 740TAO says:

    Reblogged this on LMGTFY.

  30. Hey tnt666 –
    I appreciate and respect your point of view, however I am a wbw in a committed relationship of 15 years with my sweet loving womyn and I have a different take on the issue, as you might imagine. I’ve been in the Lesbian community and an out lesbian for 40 years {I am 56}. Been through “Gay Pride”, drag shows, the AIDS epidemic and the loss of many friends, Mich-Fest-Dedication, disco, and now lately the trans issue. Throughout all this time as an out lesbian, the issue of monogamy / non-monogamy has always been present, to some degree. Personally, I have come to the inner knowing that for me, non-monogamy is overrated. I considered myself “non-monogamous in my 20’s and frankly, it exhausted me…always running after womyn who wanted me for just a hot minute…until they’re fickle attention was distracted by another womyn. From what I’ve experienced, someone always gets hurt. You can go out and flirt and f-ck every day of the week, but in the end you’re always having to play too many games and then you’re often alone. As Ferron said “the coldest bed I’ve found will not hold one, but it will hold three…I hope you never have to know what that can mean”. I don’t want to be alone…me and my girl are our own Girl – Gang. We share passion, humor, political views and outlook on life. I love having a “Partner in Crime”.
    I get jealous, I want all my Baby’s kisses. Monogamy quiets the fear of loss. My partner is beautiful, strong, full of love and we are dedicated to the commitment we share. We are partners, we know each other well and her 5 kids and 5 grand kids know me as one of their grandmas. We have no financial perks, due to personal issues, but we’re married in our hearts. It’s disgusting that Marriage was originally political, a practice of commerce – women given away for marriage – bought and sold, to insure lines of succession, peace and/or power between tribes. Marriage as slavery is messed up. Similarly, Clitoral Genital Mutilation is another delusion that must stop {which often goes hand in hand with marriage}. I speak only from a place of my experience and knowings as a USA-Lesbian.
    Actually, I feel medically safer being monogamous – we’ve both been tested and there is very little of contracting any STDs. More power to those who choose non-monogamy…good luck to you in your lesbian livings. I’m just saying that monogamy works better for me….maybe it’s cause I’m a Crone. peace on your journey. – Ashe

  31. tnt666 says:

    In my life experience as a bi, I’ve never played games when it comes to sex, I treat sex like a damn good massage (but I’m from Quebec, where sex in the 80s was not viewed as fucking but instead as loving). I am not looking for partnership, and I’m an anti-natalist. I would like to see feminists boycott reproduction completely, for at least a decade, back to the fight against coerced maternity from bygone years. That’s a debate feminists when the “what about the mens” backlash started. Boycotting reproduction would be the MOST powerful anti-capitalist and ecofeminist and anti-religion/patriarchyaction the female class could do.
    As for being “medically safer” you may “feel” that, but statistically, non monogamous females get less sex, and it is usually more protected, and therefore (lesbian sex is safe no matter the circumstance) females who practice het sex do not get more STDs. I’ll be 49 shortly, been promiscuous since age 17, with males and females. Still had no STDs. And as for violence, women die at the hands of loved ones WAY more often than we die at the hands of strangers. So the idea that one is “safer” being monogamous is a false sense of safety (lesbians excluded).
    Also, there is almost no space left on the planet for any other animal or plant to live. We humans are so narcissistic, I depresses me greatly. So you’re right, we are in a pretty fundamental disagreement.
    But it is certainly nice to be able to remain civil about it. I thank you.

  32. tnt666 says:

    And sorry for all the typos, I hit “send” too fast 😦

  33. I am a straight real woman. I only just stumbled on this topic and support the LGBT movement however now after doing research on how trans MTF fake lesbians are treating lesbians and their abusive stance, I want to focus on supporting just lesbians. It seems to me that lesbians are the least talked about and cared about. It’s the same old garbage many women face. As a straight woman, I’m a strong ally as I don’t take shit! So on this topic, how do you all feel about Fallon Fox? He is transgender, hid his sex change, joined the MMA. In the MMA, it’s a contact fighting sport. He only came out when caught and would have continued to keep it a secret.

    Is he using his male advantage for easy wins and he beat a lesbian really bad making her bleed. Why is the LGBT standing up for his rights but not the rights of women and lesbians?

    A straight man spoke out against Fallon Fox only to be punished for it.

    Fallon Fox (trans) vs. Tamikka Brents (lesbian) There is also a subject on a forum discussing the transgender supporters of Fallon Fox calling out for Tamikka’s blood because she is a lesbian that doesn’t want to date a transgender.

  34. BigBooButch says:

    Thanks for your comment. Fallon Fox is an animal and he should not be fighting women in the MMA. He is a violent predator who likes to beat up women and he should be in jail. That is what I and all other lesbians that I have talked to about this feel.

  35. The word “Feminist” has been used in such a negative way that many women are scared to call themselves a feminist. This word is not scary, it’s been turned and twisted into boogie man status. Thanks to people like Rush Limbaugh. I think it’s time for women to stand up for themselves. Is it really true not even gay men help lesbians? That’s not right. Maybe we should just let gay men defend themselves and we focus on women. I’d also like to share with you a topic that is going on in a forum about this issue.

  36. Would like to concur with you and if anyone knows to verify this, please do – I heard that, unlike women’s vaginas that generally work like a self-cleaning oven – surgeon-constructed vaginas are made by inverting penile tissue and inserting it into the body “like” a real vagina. Problem is the body registers this “new vagina” as a wound and tries to close up the tissue and scar over, perhaps leading to multiple surgeries. This lack of being able to finally have a “real vagina” may be behind the incessant need for validation and their insistence that we are not as much women as they are. Their desire for transformation seems real, but it appears to be laced with so much self loathing and hatred projected onto women. Call in the therapists.

  37. Thanks Big Boo for another clear lesbian-analysis and breakdown of this issue. peace – ashe

  38. Thanks Big Boo for another clear lesbian-analysis of this issue. peace – ashe

  39. Thank you. For decades I have been swimming upstream on these points.

  40. This is a bit late, but I’m wondering what you think about the current issue of transwomen trying to silence transmens’ voices as they talk about the misogyny THEY’VE faced and continue to face while not-passing– which for all transmen has been a good portion if not all of their lives. They argue that transmen experience male privilege and that they’re just like cis men, in that they are patriarchal and abusive to transwomen because of this. When transmen attempt to explain that they do, in fact, experience misogyny and have experienced misogyny on a constant basis, because they have been born in a female body and have been treated as such for as long as they appear to be so, transwomen speak over them and essentially attempt to silence them by telling these transmen that they are transmisogynist and abusive in their attempts to speak about their experiences. Everything I’ve seen from transmen on this subject has been expressed respectfully and calmly, while transwomen will respond with blatant disrespect, telling these transmen that they are speaking over transwomen (while they speak over transmen on a topic only a transman would actually experience) while demanding that they be heard. In conclusion, transwomen are attempting to (and succeeding in) silencing transmen on their experiences with misogyny, telling them that they do not, in fact, experience something that actually hurts them at a high level. And of course, through this, transmen feel alienated in spaces that they should be able to feel safe in, but are not allowed to speak against those who are alienating them, out of fear that they be alienated further for things that they cannot in any way control. Sound familiar?

  41. Hi I am so glad I came across your blog and your article. I am a straight woman I am very concern about how transgendered women are imposing more and more on women’s private space. I am concern about about the safety of women and children when the laws are protecting transgender women rights to use women’s private space such as bathrooms and locker rooms. The only ones who are so pushy about making these laws past are transgender women. These laws would make it easier for rapists and pedafiles to rape and assault women and children and get away with it. When you type in women all you see are transgender women trying to replace their concerns over the real important issues of women. I am not sure what to do. But I do know that all biological women of all orientations need to unite and do something before its too late. It looks like men are trying push women’s right back into the 1800’s. Transgender women issues does not support real women’s issues and rights instead it strips it. Theirs actions shows that they really do not care about about women and children at all, only themselves and selfish agenda.

  42. BigBooButch says:

    You are exactly right! Male transgender (what you call, “transgender women”)’s “rights” do not coincide with women’s rights to safety and privacy! I have longed believed that lesbians and straight women need to come together to fight the injustices of the “rights” afforded male transgenders! They have no “right” to use women’s private spaces, like bathrooms, changing rooms, jail cells, and the list goes on and on.

    I am all for people being whomever they wish to be, wear whatever clothes they wish to wear, present themselves as they wish to be prevented. I also would fight for male and female transgenders’ safety, bc we should all be able to live without fear of violence; but, when the demands of one group slashes into the safety of another group, we need to rethink the rights and “rights” of the two groups to make sure everyone is safe!

    Thank you very much for your response and your support! I hope to hear again from you. 🙂

  43. Any public place or business that does not have safe places for girls and women to use will get my boycott. I am starving men out more and more with every passing day. I am beyond done.

  44. BigBooButch says:

    I agree with you, sister! I stand with you on this!

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