My Blog, My Rules

So here’s the thing. This is my blog. These are my thoughts and my opinions based on my  lived experience as someone who was born a female, socialized and conditioned into this patriarchal society, and lives as a non-gender-conforming woman, without apology or hatred for who I am.

Originally, when I created this blog, I had every intention of allowing anyone and everyone to “have their say” when responding to my posts. But I draw the line at trolls. I have enough people seeking me out on Twitter for the sole purpose of trolling, calling me names, wishing violence on me etc., and when it happens there, I block the person and move on with my Tweeting. 

Someone came into my blog the other night and made a passive aggressive comment in an effort to shame me for having my own opinion and I handed her her ass, which caused her friends to pop on by and troll. So the same thing that I do on Twitter will be happening here because, as I said, this is my blog. 

Don’t like it? Not my problem. Go make your own blog with your own opinions or create a Tumblr account, a Twitter, or rail about it on Facebook, I really don’t care. What you don’t get to do is troll me in my own house. The same goes for my Tumblr account. I chose the set-up I did so that in order to reply to a post, you must also re-blog it. This was done on purpose and I am glad I did it; and I have zero problems in addressing those whose comments I find make my point or allow me to make another, just as I have zero problems putting the trolls on ignore. See how that works? My choice. Not yours.

I put lesbians and women first here and this is my space to put down my own thoughts, ideas, and opinions based on my own personal lived experience. Other women have been and will continue to be coming here to share their own thoughts, ideas, and opinions based on their own lived (and sometimes our shared) experience. I will not allow trolls and jackasses to take over my space, just as they try to take over every single other space both on and off line.

Transgenderism is first and foremost about narcissism. If we are not paying 100% complete attention to these individuals and agreeing with their every whim about who they are at any given moment, allowing them into all of our spaces, and giving them full reign over all of our words and history, we are called named and subjected to trolling and violence.

But you (men, their het female sheep, and transgenders) don’t get this space and you don’t get to silence this woman or the other women who come in here to comment. 

My blog, my rules.

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13 comments on “My Blog, My Rules

  1. mieprowan says:

    I recommend setting comments to full moderation. Some trolls are not immediately obvious, and also it gives you control over any erupting intercommenter flame wars. I’ve noticed that’s how most women who post critically about gender operate. And there is no obligation to defend yourself for not letting people piss all over your blog, any more than a newspaper has any obligation to print every letter they receive.

  2. BigBooButch says:

    You’re probably right; and no, I don’t have to defend myself, I was just kind of giving them a heads up that I am clicking “trash” and not even bothering with them. 😉

  3. Thank you for standing up strong in your wbw-Amazon powerful space. I’ve been trashed and slammed by trans MtF folks in the past over a relatively small issue. Just reading your centered strength encourages me to stand up in my power and be stronger. Thank you sister. peace.

  4. mieprowan says:

    If you click spam they will keep going there after the first time. Auto-trash.

  5. BigBooButch says:

    Yes, I add their names, links, and IPs to the filter which automatically sends them to the trash, but your idea of moderating all comments is still a good one.

  6. BigBooButch says:

    This week, it has been several FtMs who are offended by my “Another Sister Lost To The Madness” blog and who were friends with someone who tried to put me in my place and failed. I am used to the MtFs acting crazy with the violence and woman hating, but people who were born female and socialized for at least a part of their lives as girls and women before “passing” as “men?” That is a whole new level of internalized misogyny when they come after a woman asserting her own opinions. Thanks for your comment and I hope you keep voicing your opinions.

  7. Hey Boo. I moderate everything. At my sole discretion! It’s the only way to operate when you do #gendercrit. Moderation policies are made to be broken. Some people just don’t fight fair. 😦

  8. BigBooButch says:

    Yes, when I started out, I noticed a lot of radfem blogs were on total moderation lock down; and now I understand why. 😉

  9. foible40 says:

    Thank you for still keeping your blog public, many of the radfem blogs are now set to “invitation only.” I can only assume it is because of the harassment received for espousing personal opinions.

    I absolutely support your right to run your blog and your life any way you want.

    I found out about the radfem/trans battles when a friend of mine announced he wanted to be a girl. I was happier for him before I started doing research. He is not insisting on a total female role, he will use the single stall bathrooms and doesn’t want to force his way into groups that don’t want him, but it seems like he might be the exception.

    Your blog (and the ones you link to) have given me the knowledge to have serious discussions with my friend. I hope he stays respectful of others’ boundaries as he lives his new role.

    It seems like the radfem community is under siege and I’m sad to see it happen. I have a whole lot of respect for my lesbian friends despite (or perhaps because of) our very different perspectives on the world. I guess the community is used to it, and will no doubt prevail but there are more pleasant ways to spend your lives than fighting for basic rights.

    Please keep writing and fighting, you are making a real difference.

  10. BigBooButch says:

    Thanks for your comments; and I hope things work out with your friend.

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