The Thing About Third Sex, Cis, and TERF

Here’s the thing. Do you know how I know that transgenders do not really believe there are more than two sexes and that they are somehow another, third sex? Men who claim to be women aren’t out there trying to garner donations and support for healthcare on behalf of a third sex. They are not creating new medical spaces, shelters, prison wards, etc. for a third sex. They are not trying to create spaces where this third sex can go to get away from the oppressive men who threaten them, beat them, rape them, and kill them. Nope. What are these men doing? They are trying to take away spaces from women. They are trying to take away medical services from women. They are trying to take over spaces designated for women like bathrooms, changing rooms, prisons, shelters, etc.

Do you know how I know that “cis” is nothing more than a slur? Just listen to them when they try to explain why we should all be embracing “cis.” Listen to them as they tell us, with straight faces, that we are all comfortable with our bodies, comfortable with our sexes and the sexual stereotypes that go with them, and comfortable with our “gender presentations,” whatever they are. While they are saying all of that out of one side of their face, they are spitting the term at us with phrases like, “Die Cis Scum!” This was a term created to other women because some straight white men with a fetish for being seen as women felt othered when they were called trans women and not simply, women. So they, being men, had to take their frustrations out on women and coined the term “cis” in order to other everyone else, so they could feel special and dominant again.

Do you know how I know that “TERF” is simply a slur against women? Well, aside from the fact that many transactivists have admitted that it is a slur, I mean. Well, I actually wrote a whole post on this, but it boils down to this: when you create a term to describe me and you center that term around yourself, you are doing it wrong. My life is not centered on you. I am not trans-centered. I am woman-centered. I am Pro-Woman. So creating a label that you are now going to force down my throat while crying about how I had better not label you in any way but that which you deem appropriate or else you will set me on fire or whatever, you are using that label as a slur.

I keep hearing about how if we take away their ability to use “cis” and “TERF,” then we are crippling trans people in how they interact with, well, people in general. This is simply not true. I am a woman. Period. That’s it. I am not “cis” anything and I am certainly not a “TERF;” but those two labels keep being forced onto me by a group of people who only want to self-label and damn everyone who don’t give them that right. Anyone else see the irony here?

I don’t understand why this is so hard for transgenders to understand. “Cis” doesn’t describe us, “woman” does; and “TERF” is a hateful slur designed to silence women, which I guess is why they keep using it. But, even though we keep telling them that and keep telling them we are offended by these terms (because with these professional victims, you have to use victim language to get them to understand), they disrespect us by continually using it and then get mad when we won’t use “proper” pronouns!

So that’s how I know these things, dear reader. There is nothing about their own safety, their own healthcare, their own spaces because they want what women have; and they keep using “cis” and “TERF” quite simply because they are slurs that they can use to silence and gaslight women. They want to self-label and still have the control to label us. They want to take our spaces because, right now, they don’t can can’t have them.

Put simply, men want what they don’t or can’t have and they want to have the right to continue to control women even when they call themselves women.


28 comments on “The Thing About Third Sex, Cis, and TERF

  1. FeistyAmazon says:

    Reblogged this on FeistyAmazon and commented:
    Totally agree with this post and will NOT allow anyone to call me these words!!!


  2. FeistyAmazon says:

    Thank you for standing up Big Boo Butch. Everywhere I go I will NOT allow anyone to use the Cis word and will say over and over again it is a hate word! As Dykes, as womyn, as BUTCH Dyke females WE NAME OURSELVES! !!Period. End of sentence.

    The whole trans movement is based on nothing but womon and self hatred anyway..and the cooptation of ALL our Dyke and women’s spaces, places, identities, Beings and our very bodies themselves….they want to claim how oppressed they are by Lesbians and queer women in particular that tell them NO and won’t have sex with them..and how Dykes should get over their penisphobia? NOT!!!

    EVERY female has the RIGHT or should have to decide WHO they want to have sex with and share intimacy with and who they do not want to. But the male born will never take NO as an answer whether it be from an individual womon or a community of us!!!This is how they truly PROVE they are male and not female in the least despite hormones, surgeries, feminine clothes and gestures or changes on legal certificates!!

    We Know our own. Period.



  3. BigBooButch says:

    Right on, Feisty! You keep doing what you do, sister.


  4. You are amazing! This is all the stuff I’d like to write, but just feel too worn down and exhausted to deal with right now. Straight men have been calling us “slut” “cunt” “bitch” forever, and you are so right, “TERF” and “cis” are just same thing, only they’re the slurs of choice for men who want to identify as women. I also do not understand why anybody would expect me to consider the struggle of MTFs my struggle as a woman. Not only are they undermining so many gains of the women’s movement, they leach and steal. If they want resources, let them fight and endure the same kind of hate and contempt we’ve endured to get them. Don’t take ours just because we have less social power to fend you off since we’re not in the dominant class of men.


  5. MainelyButch says:

    “Victims are what transgenders are best at being.” really? Is that not also hate spew? smh


  6. So what about transmen and transmasculine? What are we trying to do, exactly?


  7. luckynkl says:

    Spot on, BigBoo.
    So how do SCAMs differ from every other abusive, controlling man out there with a sense of entitlement? I sure don’t see any difference. Perhaps SCAMs could take up sheep-herding to curb their power and control issues?


  8. Bio Dyke says:

    I appreciate all the blogs that address trans issues and the ways in which these issues impact on biological women, and lesbians in particular.

    And, all these blogs focus on biological males who want us to accept them as women and have sex with their penises. These folks are easy to target.

    These blogs seem to deliberately skirt the issue of men who have physically transitioned and now have female parts. The blogs dont address the obvious….these surgically created females are glorified and heroine-ized ….by women, especially if they look like Janet Mock. The ones who look like Bea Arthur are not as revered. Why is that? The male construct of what beauty is comes to mind.

    And, these bogs seem to deliberately avoid dealing with the greater threat to womens communities i.e. biological females who claim to be male or transgendered or other gendered. These are the folks who were and still are very active participants in womens communities and homosexual social spaces. They are very welcome in what used to be women only spaces. Their “masculine energy” and “masculine look” is coveted by certain aspects of the female community.

    Womens events, cruises, spaces now look no different from any heterosexual gathering. And, the energy is no longer womens energy but mixed masculine-feminine energy with the same dynamics and look of the hetero world.

    And, it is WOMEN who are welcoming them, coddling them, defending them, willingly sleeping and partnering with them, and even, it seems, fetishing them. It is WOMEN who are encouraging this “maleness” within our community.

    Why arent we blogging about that stuff? That is more of a threat to women and gayness on both a micro and macro level. That is more indicative of the patriarchy worming its way in and undermining women.

    Why arent we blogging about how women need to encourage other females to embrace their femaleness however they conceive of it? Why arent we blogging about supporting our masculine women as women, treating them as women, accepting them and loving them as women regardless of how they choose to express their femaleness? Why arent we blogging about women who have so internalized misogyny that they cannot appreciate or love the bodies of their female partners?

    THAT is what we need to be focusing on.


  9. BigBooButch says:

    See, here is the thing. This is MY blog and because this is MY blog, then I get to chose what -I- write about. If you are so concerned about what women’s blogs -should- be addressing, then instead of making up a fake name and bitching about it to actual female bloggers, why don’t -you- start a blog, actually put yourself out there and blog about these issues that you think are more important than male violence and transwomen trying to force themselves onto lesbians, etc.? I think we both know the answer to that question, don’t we, “bio dyke”?

    Piddle or get off the pot, “bio dyke”. Attacking female bloggers kinda makes you one of the women (if you -are- a woman, that is) you think I should be blogging about, doesn’t it?


  10. BigBooButch says:

    Why is my opinion on F2Tg females so important to you?


  11. BigBooButch says:

    I don’t think -anything- would curb their power control issues, not really, do you?


  12. BigBooButch says:

    The truth hurts. Just take a look at how many and how often they claim to be victims. Look at you, right now, wringing your hands and calling a simple tweet, my opinion, “hate” so you, too, can be a victim. You poor thing.


  13. BigBooButch says:

    Right on! See, you have lots to say and are not too worn down to say it. I hope you keep coming back and posting. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. BigBooButch says:

    Wow. You know what, “August”? I just checked out your Facebook and you have some really sexist and violent things posted on your timeline. You also belong to a violent hate group called Gender Identity Watch Watchers which has some of the most violence against women I have seen that wasn’t an MRA group (maybe it is…).

    So do me a favor and don’t come back to my blog. You are one young woman who is in need of some mental help and/or some serious education because you clearly really really hate women and I don’t allow your kind of hate to be on my blog. Consider yourself and your inane questions about what I think about F2Tgs banned from my blog. When you grow up and stop hating women, feel free to come back and visit me. You may have answered some of your own questions by then. You are the epitome of the woman hating, sexist, misogynistic transman and I feel really badly for you and most especially, the women in your life.


  15. BadDyke says:

    “And, these bogs seem to deliberately avoid dealing with the greater threat to womens communities i.e. biological females…….. ”

    NO! Just totally utterly and absolutely NO. This is misogynistic nonsense. Whatever violence women may do to themselves because of the patriarchy (like convincing themselves they are men, or should be men, or can be men, or taking hormones, or having surgery), they are still, no matter what they do, WOMEN (even if they can’t call themselves that), and still female. They are no threat, just the walking wounded.

    The REAL threat is the man trying to get in the door, NOT wounded females.It’s all male violence, STOP BLAMING THE VICTIMS FOR THEIR HURTS!


  16. BadDyke says:

    ” Just take a look at how many and how often they claim to be victims.” and victims OF radical feminists and lesbians! That is the really insane thing. What does our ‘violence’ consist of? Saying we don’t believe in gender, they’re NOT women/lesbians like us (not saying you’re not valuable human beings yah know, that’s still possible, just that you’re NOT female and never can be, don’t blame me blame biology.). Whereas mainstream society LURVES gender, is based on the damn concept!

    Just had a peek at one of those snarky cartoons — the beauty of womanhood is the ability to LURVE — says the disembodied womb that she doesn’t deserve — THAT’S gender for you, straight up. Beauty of womanhood my arse!


  17. BigBooButch says:

    That’s what really gets me, BadDyke. If you look at the critics of my work on Reddit, it is violent rhetoric on how utterly hateful I am when all I am doing is saying (a) you are not a magical third sex and (b) “cis” and “TERF” are slurs. That’s it for this post. But apparently, this makes me filled with hate and violent to them. They also really hate my who defines what a lesbian is bc in it, I say that lesbians don;t have penises. That, too, is hateful.

    Their rhetoric makes absolutely no sense. Violence to them is a disagreement. What they don’t see is the violence they spew towards us; or they do see it and they justify it by saying we are mean and hurtful women who deserve violence. It’s literally insane and backward logic.


  18. BigBooButch says:

    I think what s/he means is the women who are pro-trans and have partaken in the trans kool-aid. Those women are then sent out with trans propaganda with the express instructions, from males, to attack females with whom their males do not agree, i.e., us. It is utterly horrifying to watch and completely draining to try and have a conversation with these women, trying to point out all of the violent rhetoric and threats spewed forth by their trans masters; but they are so deeply conditioned that everything the males tell them, they believe wholeheartedly. So FB groups like GIDWatch get shut down for “hate speech” when there was no “hate speech,” but groups like Gender Identity Watch Watchers, which, if you check, is really a hateful and violent group of men and female followers, is allowed to stay up on FB.

    These women are dangerous bc they can infiltrate women-only spaces and report back to their masters. So I see what BioDyke was saying, I just disagreed with her/his way of coming into a blogger’s house and demanding she blog about something else instead of creating her/his own blog and putting her-/himself out here with us.


  19. BadDyke says:

    I’m not convinced about the F2T coming into women only or lesbian spaces, because that is where they DON’T want to be (according to themselves), because they are magically no longer either.

    Non-trans supporters, I agree, but that is a different issue?

    I’m willing to be corrected though if someone knows better! DO F2T go around ‘invading’ lesbians spaces as well, are they baby-siiting the M2T who claim to be dykes? In my (albeit limited) experience, the dykes who then thought they were men LEFT lesbian and women only spaces, whilst we were leff to deal with the M2T trying to come in the other side of the trans revolving door…………………


  20. BigBooButch says:

    I belong to a few butch-femme groups and they are, literally, overrun with F2Tgs and “male identified” butches. They are all about transitioning into “men” but then staying in the lesbian communities because that is where they feel most comfortable, get the most support. They aren’t even trying to “live as men” outside of the LGB community and among straight or even gay men; unlike M2Tgs who leave the heterosexual communities and head straight for LGB communities, including the lesbian communities.


  21. BigBooButch says:

    I have to say that after receiving no less than 17 comments in 2 days from you in my spam box, and I am being completely serious here with no sarcasm whatsoever, you are a violent, mentally disturbed young woman who would benefit from long-term therapy. Your comments will continue to go directly to my spam box where they will continue to be permanently deleted without being read or published. I understand that you hate yourself and, by extension, also hate all women, but this woman doesn’t suffer trolls lightly and will not give you one more minute of hate or thought on this blog. I wish you luck on your journey and sincerely hope that you get some help.


  22. Thank you Big Boo. Once again I feel like you got our collective back – no BS, Just plain ole’ Womyn-Born-Womyn common sense. Dykes an’ Butches an’ Fems an’ our own self-naming an’ self determination. Ain’t gonna be led astray by no Men, no Transmen, and no Transwomen. They can go build their own clubhouse and if they need to wallow in their own self-hate, so be it. Just don’t be bringing it to us Goddesses…ya’ll gotta figure yer own shit out and that has nothing to do with the Lesbian Sisterhhood. Ase.


  23. stchauvinism says:

    Reblogged this on Stop Trans Chauvinism.


  24. Sundazed says:

    Thank you for this brilliant post. It made a lot of sense.


  25. BigBooButch says:

    You’re welcome; and thank you. 🙂


  26. FeistyAmazon says:

    The transmen are as much a threat as the transwomen. They BOTH have been equally destructive of Dyke and WBW spaces. The transmen literally inject the patriarchy into their body with testosterone. They identify with men and the male so they sell us yet this generation doesnt leave the Lesbian nest and go live their “male” lives…no instead theyre destroying women only colleges and sport teams with their presence and then inviting in the mtfs in the process. And fouling the Lesbian nest instead by pressuring US to accomodate THEM. So if Butch and FTM have become interchangeable in many women’s minds…its a short leap to “Lesbians have penises too…”. FTMs need to be asked to leave once they begin identifying as male…and MTFs SEEN as the bio males they are..ESPECIALLY if they are still retaining penises. NO is a complete sentnce and Dykes and women need to have each other’s backs and so NO much louder and much more often.

    “I don’t recognize as a woman/female NO MATTER WHAT YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE SEZ!!!!”


  27. BigBooButch says:

    I completely agree with you, re: F2Ts and “male ID’d” butches leaving butch-femme communities once they identify as men or with male anything. I am SO TIRED of trans “men” taking over butch-femme communities to the point that femmes feel they should call all of us “he” and treat us all as males/men, which we are NOT! So you want to be a man? Cool. Go do it in the straight or gay male communities and leave the lesbian and butch-femme communities alone!!!


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